Durga’s life was full of untimely deaths of dear ones, so she assumed life means ‘pain’
“I was only 2.5-year-old when my father passed away. I had a sister who, too, died at an early age. Even so, after marriage I decided to start my life afresh, one filled with happiness and smiles. But plans for life never work out the way you draw them. I am no exception. So that is what happened with me…”
Kolkata’s Durga Dutt was married off at very young age but she that never meant she was not happy with this new life or that she didn’t have dreams to make it into a beautiful one. Yes, there were some difficulties keeping up with the challenges of a married woman – after all she was at a tender age – but she always took it all positively.
“I mean, who doesn’t have problems coping up with the new lifestyle, new home, new people, new relations. You are young, naïve. It is natural. I too dealt with it. And I never had any complaints because I was learning in the process. Growing up. Moving towards the beautiful married life I had already started planning.”
So she going through the usual, Durga was very optimistic about everything that was happening in her life. In the course of time, she gave birth to a baby boy. She was really happy. Her husband was very happy. Everyone in the family was happy. He became the centre of attraction for everyone and especially Durga.
Durga’s husband owned a garments shop and was pretty much occupied there the entire day. So it was Durga and the little one who were left at home in each-other’s company. Durga’s entire life revolved around her child. She took care of him with all her heart. It was like her heartbeat was trapped inside that boy. He was her everything.
Slowly (or rather very quickly – at least that is how Durga and her husband felt), the boy grew up. He was 27-year-old now. But one black day, that happened which Durga would have never imagined. Her son died suffered a sudden brain stroke and he could not make it. To Durga’s horror, he died.
Everything shattered in a blink of an eye for Durga. Her lifeline, her heartbeat was taken away from her forever. She was clueless what she would do without him, what’s life without her child. Durga went into a numb state of mind.
Time passed by, but Durga stayed as silent since that black day of her life. Anyhow, she was coping up as she knew that life goes on. But before she could get even slightly out of it, another ‘unexpected’ creep into her life.
The untimely and unexpected death of their son had not only affected Durga, but her husband too. He was taken aback. The loss was too painful and shocking to him. He lost his mental stability and peace. In the midst of all this, one day he left home and never returned.
“I tried searching for him a lot. I did all I could. Looked everywhere I could. But after a point I had to accept that he is gone and that he is never returning. After years of hunt and no sign of him anywhere, I had to accept him as dead and declare myself a widow.”
So, with no certain signs, widowhood painted Durga’s life monochrome.
She went on with this monotonous life for quite some time until one day someone told her about the holy city of Vrindavan. And that how it soaks all your pain away and give you a new ray of light in the darkened life. And so she decided to move there.
It was 22 years ago from now when Durga Dutt came to Vrindavan. Initially she lived in Pagal Baba Ashram. After a span of seven years in this ashram, she moved to Gurukul Ashram. After that she changed places many time – went from ashram to ashram – and with each passing day, her devotion towards Lord Krishna and Radha Rani kept growing. She kept getting immersed in bhajans and the serene environment of Vrindavan.
Durga now lives in a Sulabh-supported ashram. She says she has a peaceful mind and with it she is searching for the true meaning of life.
“It’s been 22 years since I left my homeland. There were many ups-downs. I suffered many losses. I thought pain is the definition of life. But eversince I came to Vrindavan, my perspective has changed.”
“I don’t have to worry much about carrying my life. It is all taken care by Lal Baba (alias of Dr Bindeshwar Pathak, founder of Sulabh International Social Service Organisation). I just calmly sit, sing bhajans, and redefining the meaning of life to me.”
© 2016 Sulabh Swachh Bharat. All Right Reserved